The insanity of it all!

Well today is Saturday/Sunday or someplace in between,
and just what time did I get up, that remains to be seen.
Take the present value and subtract fourteen,
add the next number and delete a number in between.

Add the square root of the color of your neighbors cow,
divide by four hundred, let's see what have I got now?
Oh, add the number of tigers in the zoo,
and then you take the next round number (zero - the rest have lines)and add the two.

Now the product symbol of Z on the New York Stock Exchange,
take the lint out of your pocket, now add in the change,
subtract the cats age on her birthday, eleven years from now,
add back in the square root of your other neighbors cow.

So when I got up, I think it was...., no that isn't right,
I forgot to subtract eleven when I went to bed last night!
Oh, wait, now I remember if todays date is an even number,
and I add the zip code for Chicago, subtract or add, I can't remember.

Okay, now I've gone and looked it up,
I forgot, you see, to divide by my pup,
then you take the number of time zones in the world,
Jeepers - my mind is racing like a squirrel.

What were we talking about, what did you ask me?
Oh, you want to know when I got up, is that easy?
Let me see - take the age of the police officer that showed up,
when I dialed 911 and asked them, what time did I get up?

This is dedicated to that brilliant piece of work,
who invented Daylight Savings Time, it's a stupid little quirk;
why in the world do we change time, twice every year,
when Congress stops that act, I will go and cheer.