When you....

...arrive at an Emergency Room, you may not know what to say,
it's a very busy place, follow directions for the rest of the day.
Day? What's this? Just how long does this stuff take?
About eight hours.  But if you're good? No, you still won't get cake!

It's because they need to know what symptoms you complain about,
like a headache or a fever, a chopped off toe, or just plain gout;
there is a whole variety from which they may choose,
but one thing is for certain, by going you can't lose.


Hmmm, this reminds me of someone....



Me, after I was admitted

Going to...

the hospital certainly no fun,
what is interesting is how the place is run,
they'll ask you what's the matter, and things like that,
and whether maybe you or someone else owns a cat.

When I told them I had pneumonia, wait a second or two,
she said "I know Mona and her mother too"
by then I was worried, but had no other choice,
maybe they should give the patient, a little more voice.

Then upon admission, to a real hospital room,
things begin to happen fast, I heard a sonic boom,
they inspect every inch of your outer shell,
looking for abrasions, or if you've been in hell.

They check it all, you buttocks too, leaving not much out,
but they didn't check my genitals, what's that all about?
I must say it was after midnight when this was going on,
I was sleepy, in bad spirits - couldn't they wait until dawn?

Well, anyway, long story made short,
I got my antibiotics pumped right in, that I can report,
and the food was good, and that's an actual fact,
but even after 3 visits this year, I don't know how to act.

This is all fiction, based on fact, and some of it is not true.

An apple...

...a day, did NOT keep the doctor away,
in my case it sent me in the opposite way;
and overnight in the hospital, back home last night,
dad-blasted pneumonia won't quit without a fight.

So good luck to my pal "Wilbur" in North Dakota,
his two trips to a hospital and back, have they got a quota?
Well, it ain't easy for us cold climate geezers,
help me get this tape off! Have you seen the tweezers?

Oh, well, I'm back but that is were I've been,
it's as boring a place as I've been, since I don't remember when,
lay around, do nothing, my radio did not come in,
I guess I'll just stay home, so I won't go there again.

An apple...

...a day keeps the doctor away?
I don't think that's true, it's just something people say.
It's where apples come from, especially around here,
where we've been lucky, each and every year.

Mainely Apples is the name of the place,
the best darn apples you can get, get one in your face,
so many kinds to choose from, you may get confused,
but there is a list to tell you how each one is used.

Spencer's are my favorite, they're the best to eat,
but, of course there are others that are hard to beat;
good fresh Maine apples, surely they're the best,
take New York, Washington and Virginia and put them to rest.


from December 2010




The store is open only during the picking season

Thanks and appreciation to Mainely Apples, Dixmont, Maine

It's the start...

of a brand new year, so much to think about,
like which leg to put in first, or which one to take out,
life is full of things like this, most are of no concern,
but one that most people care about, is how much they earn.

I don't know if athletes or movie stars and such,
have the same concerns as me, do they worry much?
They earn a lot of money, then they spend a lot too,
and some of them do things, that we would never do.

So financial planning - that's a goal,
we should put in more time and soul,
planning for a future, that means growing old,
so we shouldn't just go broke, that is kind of cold.

So take some time to think, how to go about this thing,
of course if I think too long, my brain begins to sting;
okay, I've got a plan, I'll show you how it's done,
we're going to rob a bank, don't even need a gun.

This is...

...a true story, don't forget about that,
it's just what the ol' rambler has under his hat;
maybe that "map" I showed yesterday,
could be of my brain, hope it's not here to stay.

Just woke up from a dream that was strange,
got up in the middle, two parts to arrange;
it was about a radio show and the phone company,
I don't know what those have to do with me.

A crooked deal with the telephone company,
meant each phone was now a public utility,
but a radio announcer, Kaiekio by name,
was fighting to make things remain all the same.

The radio station was in an old Home Depot store,
and if you saw my sidecar for shopping carts, you may roar,
I guess it's a good thing that I've woken up,
well, tomorrow maybe there'll be something new in my "cup".

I've been thinking of a way to make extra money,
and have come up with a deal that's a real honey,
all I have to do is stand around on the street,
and money comes right to me!  Sweet!

A note: Kaiekio (Ky-echi-oh)may be the real name of a radio guy (ESPN), it could be spelled different.
UPDATED 01/03/11 Bill Caiaccio is an anchor for CNN Radio News.