What the heck!

I can't see all of you, for the most part, so I really don't know what you look like.  I think I've found a way to get a good look at you!

Come on! I know you're out there!
Telescope glasses

The "dancing man" will help you quit cigarettes, I just know it, it'll be so likely to make you mad, you will know at once what all those warnings were about.

The "Fun Provoking Figure, dances when you inhale.
The pipe is just so you can keep smoking.

My lovely wife always has a problem with eye drops, I try to be as helpful as I can but she still doesn't like to use them.  But NOW I've found a way for her to use eye drops with ease.  Wish I'd found this sooner!

The "Tim Thumb" eye drop helper.
Now: Hold your eyes open!

And, of course, an invention we don't like.  But wait! This is one of God's own inventions!

Gods useless invention, the Mosquito