Monday, July 23, 2012

A Cadillac and a baseball team

  They are going to auction off the last of Al Capones Cadillacs in the next few days.  It is a 1928 Cadillac V8 Sedan.  It has 3000 pounds of armor and the glass is one inch thick (bulletproof).  There are a couple of portholes to accommodate a machine gun, and the rear window goes down quickly so followers can be shot at.  Mr. Capone had three of these machines complete with Police Band Radios, flashing lights and sirens.  One of the confiscated autos became the Presidential Limo for President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
  The going price on the remaining one is expected to exceed two million dollars.

  Two million dollars would also be a good start if you wanted to start a baseball team.  You'd need to find 40 or 50 men or older boys who act like the Three Stooges, Circus Clowns or the Keystone Cops.
  First give everyone a simple test, like knowing left from right or which is bigger a beach ball or a golf ball or even which is up or down.  Then pick the dullest one and make him your Moron, no no I mean Manager (I knew it started with an m).  It's important that this guy learn to say "well, it's a long season", and have him say that every time he's asked a question about how the team is doing. Pick the best skilled ones and make them outfielders and let them know they won't have to play everyday.  Then select 5 or 6 men who can barely throw and make them pitchers, it won't matter if the other team gets a lot of runs, remember it's a long season.
  If someone acts hurts, maybe he has one toenail painted red, put him on the disabled list for 15 days, let the press know he can't possible play in that condition at least until the nail polish fades - extend him on the DL for as many times as possible especially if he's competent.

There you have it a Cadillac and a baseball team - you could call yours the Boston Red Sox.  They really help the other team out and they have earned their way back in to last place.  It's not if you win or lose, it's how you lose that counts.

Oh well, it's a long season.

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